How to Write Funeral Wishes: Complete Template

Your funeral wishes should give the people you love a clear, usable plan without forcing them to recreate your personality, values and practical decisions while they are grieving. A complete record should cover what happens to your body, the type of funeral or memorial you prefer, cultural and spiritual requirements, the atmosphere, music, readings, speakers, dress, flowers, donations, obituary details, costs, providers, burial or ashes arrangements and the people who need to know where the plan is stored.

This is more than a checklist of songs and flowers. Families often need to make time-sensitive decisions about burial, cremation, viewing, transport, venues, funeral directors, celebrants, death notices, livestreaming, catering and payment. If your wishes do not explain what matters most and what can be adapted, relatives may still face uncertainty or conflict.

The complete working template below is designed to remove that uncertainty. It includes proper grey writing boxes under every question, clear fallback choices, a first-48-hours handover, budget and prepaid-plan details, overseas and donation contingencies, accessibility and online attendance, children and pets, obituary notes, memorial instructions and a review record.

It also connects naturally with your personal legacy letter, letter of wishes and emergency binder, which carry different emotional and practical information.

What the strongest funeral wishes templates cover

The current leading resources are useful, but none of them covers the full planning and family-handover job in one place. The official Cemeteries & Crematoria NSW planning checklist covers body disposition, coffin or shroud preferences, donation, overseas death, funeral format, venue, guests, notices, flowers, speakers, readings, music, obituary writing, food, memorials and communication with next of kin.

The Willed funeral planning checklist organises the work into decisions made before, during and after the service. Checklist.com’s current funeral checklist adds provider coordination, death certificates, transportation, reception and final administration, while the Australian Government’s end-of-life planning checklist connects funeral plans with a Will, executor, health planning and other documents.

The Evaheld template includes all of those elements and adds the details families are often still left to invent: priority versus optional wishes, backup choices, budget ceilings, prepaid-plan evidence, cultural timing, aquamation and natural burial, online participation, accessibility, child and pet arrangements, family conflict boundaries, social-media notices, the first people to call, a plan if donation is declined, and precise instructions for where the current record can be found.

Why written funeral wishes matter before a crisis

Funeral planning happens quickly. Even close family members may remember different conversations or interpret phrases such as “keep it simple” in completely different ways. One person may hear “private cremation”; another may hear “small church service”; another may think it means choosing the least expensive option.

Useful wishes are specific enough to guide but flexible enough to survive changing prices, locations and availability. Instead of writing “no fuss”, say what that means to you: “I prefer a small cremation service with immediate family, no viewing, two songs and an informal gathering at home. If that is impractical, a direct cremation followed by a family memorial is acceptable.”

Discussing the plan matters as much as writing it. Evaheld’s guide to discussing end-of-life wishes can help you introduce the subject without creating one dramatic family meeting. The NSW Government also recognises religious and cultural funeral arrangements as part of its end-of-life planning guidance.

Create your funeral wishes in Evaheld now, beginning with the person who should coordinate arrangements, your body disposition preference and your budget or prepaid-plan details.

Funeral, memorial, burial and cremation decisions to make first

Choose a primary body disposition and a fallback

Record whether you prefer burial, cremation, natural or green burial, aquamation where available, body donation, or another lawful option. A preference is more useful when it includes a fallback. Body donation and organ donation may depend on eligibility, timing and circumstances; natural burial or aquamation may not be available near the place of death.

If you are registered for organ donation, identify the register and ensure family knows your decision. DonateLife explains the Australian Organ Donor Register and the importance of family awareness. Organ donation, tissue donation and body donation are separate processes, so record each one accurately.

Separate the funeral from the committal if needed

A funeral may occur before burial or cremation, while a memorial can occur later without the body present. You may prefer a direct cremation followed by a larger gathering weeks later, a graveside-only service, a dual service that proceeds to the cemetery, or a small private committal followed by a public celebration.

Evaheld’s private versus public remembrance guide can help separate intimate grief from a larger community event. Your record should state which part is private, which is public and whether the family may adapt the format.

Name the person who should coordinate the plan

Identify the person expected to speak with the funeral director, celebrant or faith leader. Add a backup. Explain who should be consulted before major changes and who should not be expected to manage arrangements because of age, distance, health or family dynamics.

The roles of a funeral director and celebrant are different. Evaheld’s funeral director and celebrant comparison explains who manages logistics and who shapes the ceremony.

Funeral atmosphere, music and ceremony choices

The service should sound like the person rather than a generic package. Record the emotional tone you prefer: formal, reflective, religious, joyful, quiet, humorous, simple, traditional or an informal celebration of life. State whether humour is welcome and whether there are subjects that should not be made public.

Name music precisely. Include the song, artist or version, when it should be played and an acceptable alternative. List more than one choice because licensing, timing, venue systems or family circumstances may make a preferred track unavailable.

For readings, name the poem, prayer, scripture, passage or source and the preferred reader. If you have written a message, obituary or short biography, record where the approved version is stored. A personal legacy letter may provide stories and values for a eulogy without being read publicly in full.

Funeral costs, providers and prepaid arrangements

A funeral-wishes record should not leave family with a beautiful ceremony brief and no idea how it is meant to be paid for. Record prepaid contracts, funeral bonds, insurance, cemetery plots, reserved niches, memberships, provider quotes and the location of receipts or policy documents.

State a budget preference or spending boundary. Identify the elements you consider essential and the parts that may be reduced. The family should know whether you would prefer a modest service and financial restraint, or whether a particular venue, burial plot, cultural rite or reception matters enough to justify additional cost.

Ask providers for itemised prices and distinguish mandatory charges from optional extras. The ACCC’s buying products and services guidance supports careful comparison, and Moneysmart provides independent consumer information for considering financial commitments.

Complete funeral wishes template to copy and use

Complete the sections that apply to you. Every grey box is a working response field. Replace the guidance with your own information. Use “preferred” where family may need flexibility and “strongly do not want” only where the boundary genuinely matters.

Section 1: Document ownership, purpose and access

1.1 Who created these funeral wishes, and when were they reviewed?

Write over this guidance: Add your full name, preferred name, address, date prepared and last review date. Identify which version is current.

1.2 Who should know this record exists?

Write over this guidance: Name your executor, next of kin, spouse, adult children, funeral coordinator, lawyer or other trusted people. Add contact details.

1.3 Where is the current version stored?

Write over this guidance: State the exact physical or digital location, access process and who has permission to retrieve it.

Section 2: First calls and responsibility

2.1 Who should coordinate the arrangements?

Write over this guidance: Name the primary person, backup person, relationship, phone and email. Explain the role you expect them to perform.

2.2 Who should be contacted during the first 24 hours?

Write over this guidance: List immediate family, religious or cultural contacts, funeral provider, body-donation program, insurer, cemetery or other urgent contacts in priority order.

2.3 Who should be consulted before changing the plan?

Write over this guidance: Identify the people whose cultural, family, legal or practical input matters and the decisions they should help make.

Section 3: Body disposition and fallback choice

3.1 What is your preferred body disposition?

Write over this guidance: Choose burial, cremation, natural burial, aquamation where available, body donation or another lawful option. Explain why it matters.

3.2 What is your fallback if the preferred option is unavailable?

Write over this guidance: Record a second choice and the circumstances in which family may use it.

3.3 Have you purchased a plot, niche or contract?

Write over this guidance: Add cemetery, crematorium, section, plot or niche number, contract number, provider contact and document location.

Section 4: Organ, tissue and body donation

4.1 Are you registered for organ or tissue donation?

Write over this guidance: Record the register, date confirmed, family members informed and any relevant contact details.

4.2 Have you arranged body donation to science?

Write over this guidance: Name the university or program, registration details, eligibility conditions, after-hours contact and signed-document location.

4.3 What should happen if donation cannot proceed?

Write over this guidance: State the fallback body disposition and who should authorise it.

Section 5: Viewing, preparation, coffin or shroud

5.1 Do you want a viewing or time with your body?

Write over this guidance: Choose private family viewing, public viewing, no viewing or family discretion. Include cultural timing and privacy preferences.

5.2 Are there clothing, preparation or presentation preferences?

Write over this guidance: Describe clothing, jewellery, grooming, washing, wrapping, faith practices and items that should or should not accompany you.

5.3 Do you prefer a coffin, casket or shroud?

Write over this guidance: Record material, style, environmental preference, decoration and an acceptable lower-cost alternative.

Section 6: Funeral, memorial or no formal service

6.1 What type of farewell do you prefer?

Write over this guidance: Choose funeral, memorial, celebration of life, graveside service, direct cremation with later gathering, private committal, no formal service or another format.

6.2 Should the body or ashes be present?

Write over this guidance: State your preference and whether family may adapt it.

6.3 Is the service public, private or invitation-only?

Write over this guidance: Define who may attend, whether details may be published and any limits on media or photography.

Section 7: Venue, date and timing

7.1 Where should the service or gathering be held?

Write over this guidance: Name a preferred venue and one or two acceptable alternatives such as a chapel, place of worship, garden, home, beach, park, community hall or graveside.

7.2 Are there timing requirements?

Write over this guidance: Record cultural or religious deadlines, preferred time of day, waiting periods, interstate travel needs and whether a later memorial is acceptable.

7.3 What happens if you die interstate or overseas?

Write over this guidance: State whether you prefer local arrangements, repatriation, cremation before return or family discretion. Add insurer and assistance contacts.

Section 8: Religious, cultural and spiritual requirements

8.1 Which faith, cultural or spiritual tradition should guide arrangements?

Write over this guidance: Name the tradition, community, clergy, elder or cultural adviser and include contact details.

8.2 Which rituals, prayers, languages or practices are required?

Write over this guidance: Record preparation, timing, readings, languages, food, gender, music, burial direction, mourning or other requirements.

8.3 What must not occur for cultural or spiritual reasons?

Write over this guidance: List prohibited practices and identify the person who can clarify the requirement.

Section 9: Atmosphere, dress and public tone

9.1 What emotional tone should the farewell have?

Write over this guidance: Choose reflective, traditional, joyful, informal, humorous, quiet, faith-led, celebratory or another tone. Explain what that means to you.

9.2 Is there a dress preference?

Write over this guidance: State formal or casual clothing, colours, uniforms, cultural dress, no black, bright colours or family discretion.

9.3 Are humour, photographs or personal stories welcome?

Write over this guidance: Explain what may be shared publicly and any subjects, stories or images that should remain private.

Section 10: Music, readings and ceremony order

10.1 Which songs should be used?

Write over this guidance: List song, artist or version, desired placement and a backup choice. Include links or file locations where appropriate.

10.2 Which readings, prayers or poems should be included?

Write over this guidance: Give the exact title, source, passage and preferred reader.

10.3 Is there a ceremony order you prefer?

Write over this guidance: Note entry, welcome, readings, eulogy, music, ritual, reflection, committal and closing. Allow the celebrant or clergy person to adapt timing.

Section 11: Speakers, eulogies and family dynamics

11.1 Who should lead the ceremony?

Write over this guidance: Name the celebrant, clergy member, elder, family member or preferred provider and include a backup.

11.2 Who would you like to speak or read?

Write over this guidance: Name each person, the role, topic and whether they have agreed.

11.3 Are there family sensitivities the leader should know?

Write over this guidance: Record blended-family, estrangement, former-partner, name, pronoun, cultural, privacy or speaker-order considerations without using the document to attack anyone.

Section 12: Obituary, biography and death notices

12.1 What name and personal details should be published?

Write over this guidance: Record full name, preferred name, birth details, family relationships, work, community roles, interests and information that must remain private.

12.2 Have you drafted an obituary or life summary?

Write over this guidance: State where the approved draft is stored, who may edit it and which facts must be confirmed.

12.3 Where should notices be published?

Write over this guidance: List newspapers, community groups, workplace, faith community, social media, email lists or “no public notice”.

Section 13: Guests, online attendance and accessibility

13.1 Who should be notified or invited?

Write over this guidance: Name family groups, friends, colleagues, neighbours, clubs and communities. Add contact lists or locations.

13.2 Should the service be livestreamed or recorded?

Write over this guidance: State whether online attendance is welcome, who receives the link, whether the recording may be kept and any privacy restrictions.

13.3 What accessibility needs should be planned?

Write over this guidance: Include mobility access, seating, hearing loop, captions, interpreter, language translation, quiet space, transport or child-friendly arrangements.

Section 14: Flowers, donations, objects and visual tribute

14.1 Do you prefer flowers, donations or another gesture?

Write over this guidance: Name flower type, charity, community organisation, research institution or “no gifts”. Add exact details where possible.

14.2 Which photographs or objects should be displayed?

Write over this guidance: List photographs, clothing, awards, tools, artwork, sporting items, military or service objects and where they are kept.

14.3 Is there a preferred slideshow or video?

Write over this guidance: Record file location, music, maximum length, approved images and the person responsible for final review.

Section 15: Reception, wake, food and drink

15.1 Do you want a gathering before or after the service?

Write over this guidance: Choose wake, afternoon tea, meal, drinks, family-only gathering, no reception or another format.

15.2 Where should it be held?

Write over this guidance: Name the preferred venue and alternatives. Include booking or access details where known.

15.3 Are there preferred foods, drinks or cultural practices?

Write over this guidance: Record signature foods, dietary needs, alcohol preferences, recipes, cultural dishes and budget priorities.

Section 16: Children, pets and vulnerable family members

16.1 How should children be included?

Write over this guidance: State whether children may attend, speak, place an object, receive age-appropriate explanations or use a separate quiet area.

16.2 Should pets be present or represented?

Write over this guidance: Record whether a pet may attend, who cares for it, venue restrictions and an alternative such as a photograph or story.

16.3 Who may need additional support?

Write over this guidance: Identify older relatives, people with disability, people with dementia, estranged family, carers or anyone who may need transport, communication or emotional support.

Section 17: Burial, ashes and long-term memorial

17.1 Where should burial or ashes placement occur?

Write over this guidance: Record cemetery, plot, niche, scattering place, family property or family discretion. Confirm permissions and legal requirements separately.

17.2 Should ashes be divided or kept together?

Write over this guidance: Name intended recipients, memorial jewellery, urns, scattering plans and the person responsible for coordinating.

17.3 What memorial, plaque or inscription do you prefer?

Write over this guidance: Record headstone, plaque, tree, bench, online memorial, scholarship, charitable act or no permanent memorial. Add preferred wording.

Section 18: Costs, contracts and provider records

18.1 Is there a prepaid funeral, funeral bond or insurance?

Write over this guidance: Add provider, policy or contract number, amount, nominated person, contact details and document location.

18.2 What budget boundary should family follow?

Write over this guidance: Record a maximum, range or principle such as “use the prepaid plan only” or “prioritise the burial and keep the reception simple”.

18.3 Which providers have you considered or chosen?

Write over this guidance: List funeral director, celebrant, clergy, cemetery, crematorium, caterer, florist, livestream or memorial provider and whether a quote or agreement exists.

Section 19: Messages, obituary and legacy material

19.1 Have you left a message to be read or shared?

Write over this guidance: Identify the written, audio or video message, intended audience, file location and whether it is public or private.

19.2 Which stories best represent your life?

Write over this guidance: List three to five stories, achievements, relationships, values or moments that a celebrant or family member may draw on.

19.3 What should not be included publicly?

Write over this guidance: Record private health, family, financial, relationship or identity information that should remain outside notices, eulogies and social media.

Section 20: Review, flexibility and change history

20.1 Which wishes are priorities and which are optional?

Write over this guidance: Separate “strong preference”, “preferred if practical”, “acceptable alternative” and “family discretion”.

20.2 When may family depart from the plan?

Write over this guidance: Allow changes for law, cost, location, health, availability, family safety or cultural advice. State the values that should guide any change.

20.3 When should this record be reviewed?

Write over this guidance: Set an annual date and update after moving, purchasing a plan, changing family relationships, changing faith or cultural preferences, diagnosis or provider changes.

20.4 What changed in this version?

Write over this guidance: Record the date, section changed, previous preference removed and person told about the update.

Complete and share your funeral wishes in your Evaheld Legacy Vault for free. Download a copy when you finish, keep the living version current and make sure the person expected to coordinate arrangements knows where it is.

Funeral wishes mistakes that leave families guessing

Do not hide the only copy inside a Will that may not be read until after arrangements begin. Do not rely on one person remembering a conversation. Do not write vague phrases without explaining them. Do not name music without the artist or version. Do not record body donation without a fallback. Do not prepay a plan without preserving the contract and provider contact.

Do not use the record to control every emotional response or force family members into contact. State what matters and allow reasonable flexibility. Do not use funeral wishes to distribute property or replace legal estate documents.

The broader getting your affairs in order checklist can connect funeral preferences with your Will, executor, insurance, contacts and document locations, while the digital legacy directory can address accounts, photographs and online notices.

Funeral wishes example families can actually use

I prefer cremation. If cremation is not possible, I am comfortable with a simple burial chosen by my children. I do not want a public viewing. A private goodbye for immediate family is acceptable if they feel it would help.

I would like a small celebration of life led by a civil celebrant, followed by afternoon tea. The ceremony may be held in a funeral chapel or a community venue near my home. If family travel makes a quick service difficult, a direct cremation followed by a memorial within two months is completely acceptable.

Please wear whatever feels comfortable. Bright colours are welcome; black is also fine. I would like “Into My Arms” by Nick Cave played during reflection and “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles at the end. If either cannot be used, choose music that feels warm and familiar rather than formal.

I would like my sister to speak if she feels able, and my children may choose another speaker. Please include stories about our camping trips, my years teaching and the Sunday lunches at Mum’s house. Do not discuss my private health history in the public service.

Instead of expensive flowers, donations may be made to the local hospice. A small arrangement of native flowers is enough. Keep the total service within the value of my prepaid plan unless my executor and children agree otherwise.

My ashes may be kept together and scattered at the lookout where we walked each winter, subject to permission and practical advice. If that is not possible, my children may choose a peaceful alternative.

A funeral plan is only useful if it is current and accessible. Evaheld lets you keep the wishes beside contacts, contracts, photographs, personal messages, obituary material and the stories a celebrant or family member may need.

You can keep the plan private while drafting, download a finished copy, share it with a spouse or executor now, and update it as providers, relationships or preferences change. Evaheld’s Story & Legacy Vault can also preserve the photographs, recordings and life stories that explain how you want to be remembered.

Start your funeral wishes today. Complete the first four sections first: who coordinates, who is called, what happens to your body and where the supporting documents are stored.

Funeral wishes FAQs

Start with the decisions your family would otherwise have to make immediately: who should coordinate arrangements, burial or cremation preference, service format, cultural or faith needs, budget boundaries and where supporting documents are stored. The Evaheld end-of-life planning pathway helps keep those choices together, while the Cemeteries & Crematoria NSW planning checklist provides an official overview of after-death decisions.

The legal effect of funeral wishes depends on the jurisdiction, document and decision involved, so do not assume a personal wishes record overrides the authority of an executor, next of kin or applicable law. Evaheld’s letter of wishes guidance explains the distinction between personal guidance and formal documents, while the Australian Government’s end-of-life planning checklist recommends keeping funeral plans alongside an up-to-date Will.

Consider traditional burial, cremation, natural or green burial, aquamation where available, burial at sea where lawful, and body donation arranged in advance. Record a backup choice because availability, location and provider rules can change. Evaheld’s funeral provider comparison helps separate practical arrangements from ceremony planning, while the NSW burial and cremation planning hub explains major after-death options.

Donation is not guaranteed, so record an alternative burial or cremation preference and tell family which organisation holds your registration or consent documents. Evaheld’s family readiness checklist can keep the contact and fallback plan findable, while DonateLife explains the Australian Organ Donor Register and the importance of discussing donation decisions with family.

Be specific enough to guide, but allow practical flexibility. Name preferred songs and artists, whether black clothing is welcome or discouraged, the desired emotional tone, and one or two acceptable alternatives. Evaheld’s private versus public remembrance guide helps define the type of gathering, while the Willed funeral checklist outlines choices before, during and after a service.

Yes. Record any prepaid contract, funeral bond, insurance, nominated account, provider contact and a realistic spending boundary. State which elements matter most if the available funds are limited. Evaheld’s affairs-in-order checklist helps connect the plan with financial records, while Moneysmart provides independent consumer information for considering costs and financial commitments.

Yes. Record your preferred name, family relationships, key dates, work, community contribution, interests, character and any facts that must be checked before publication. Evaheld’s personal legacy letter guide can help capture the human details behind the biography, while the NSW planning checklist specifically suggests writing your own obituary, eulogy or story.

Name the tradition, community, clergy or elder to contact, required timing, washing or preparation rules, prayers, languages, food practices and anything prohibited. Evaheld’s end-of-life conversation guide can help you discuss these preferences with family, while the NSW Government planning guide recognises religious and cultural funeral arrangements as part of end-of-life planning.

Review them annually and after moving, changing relationships, purchasing a plot or plan, changing faith or cultural preferences, receiving a diagnosis or changing the person expected to coordinate arrangements. Evaheld’s family readiness checklist can support regular reviews, while the Australian Government’s planning checklist recommends keeping end-of-life plans and related documents current.

Store the current version somewhere secure but findable, give the location to your executor or next of kin, and share enough information with the person expected to act. Do not rely on the wishes being discovered only after the funeral. Evaheld’s Story & Legacy Vault can keep the wishes beside contacts, messages and supporting records, while the NSW planning checklist specifically recommends discussing plans and ensuring next of kin can access them.

Funeral wishes next steps for reducing family stress

Choose the person who should act, write your body disposition preference and fallback, identify any prepaid arrangements, and record the service format that best reflects you. Then add the details that turn a generic funeral into your farewell: tone, music, people, stories, culture, privacy and memorial choices.

The purpose is not to choreograph grief. It is to remove avoidable uncertainty so the people you love can spend less time guessing and more time remembering you accurately.

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How Do I Write My Funeral Wishes? Complete Planning Template